Escape

Anonymity of city
Cacophony of traffic
Infinite weekend public.
I am lost
walking down the London streets.

Merry Christmas

The bell rings
letting me know
the party has began
Christmas is here!
and Santa waits to
give me gifts.

Every year I decorate the tree
with ornaments hanging from each leaf
A new ornament to keep
for all the years to pass by.

As the years pass
increasing my collection
of cherish pieces
reminding me that
each Christmas year was Merry Christmas.


Enjoy this time of the year with friends and family supplemented by food and wine.
Wishing everyone Merry Christmas!

And then I came

Lot of jostling
Lot of trying
Lot of positions
Lot of pushing
And then I
decided to come.

I was made on
the day of thanksgiving
when it was unknown
to even my folks
that I had arrived
in there lives.

I lived in her shadows
for close to 250 days
Felt her emotions
and her love for me
already blossoming
from a bud to being a
spring rose.

Living a life
in a sheltered cocoon
I thought
time has come
to venture out
to see my creators
with my own eyes.

Lot of jostling
Lot of trying
lot of positions
Lot of pushing
And then I finally
decided to come
to welcome them
into a world of mine.

Happy Diwali

Feeling the blessings
of God
being showered on me today.
Being able to
light the lamps
to ward off
the evil spirits
and welcome
the happiness
the year will bring
along. 

Knocking on my door
is the goddess of prosperity
And being my selfish self
I clean the house
mop the floor
so that she feels invited
and decides to stay longer.

I wish everyone a very Happy Diwali and hope that you have fantastic celebrations.

The demons are back

The demons are back
haunting and scaring me.
I try to fight
the thoughts and fears
yet it manages to
show its ugly face to me.

The demons are back
haunting and scaring me.
Knocking on my head
slowly crawling in my sleep
making sure
that I can't rest in peace .

The demons are back
haunting and scaring me.
With its cankerous walk
slowly gnawing it teeth
having its poison fangs
all pointed at me.

I imagined I conquered
long time back.
Just when I think
its a thing of past
it manages to resurface.
I face it each time
more tired than before
hoping this is the end.

And again
the demons are back
haunting and scaring me.

I am here. Did you notice me.

This is what seems to be happening in the new age of social networking. You get up in the morning, open your in box, waiting to read what comments did your status message and photos got which you uploaded like 3 hour before or even 9 minutes before. Whether you had your first kiss, honeymoon, anniversary celebrations , friends get together, drinking night out, game night or even a drive back from office, you feel compelled to report your day to day activities on social networking sites. Was social networking meant to be daily journal writing?

In this age when so many privacy policies are being designed , minutely scrutinized and governed by regulations, without realizing we ourselves no longer want to maintain any privacy. I have as ridiculous 500 " friends" on any site and am willing to share all my happenings of everyday life with them. What so-called privacy I can maintain and try to fight for? All that we seem to be doing or in fact are compelled to do is to maintain a social identity for ourselves and we strive to maintain that everyday of our lives. It's an image to protect for. Even if I want to communicate to 5 people of my 500 friend list, I update my status/ post pictures for the world to see. It's a world of over-sharing.

Have you ever thought how much of your time we spend on sites checking for updates of people or photos of the people we are never gonna cross paths in life. As per the statistics face book has over 500 million active users and on an average we spend over 700 billion minutes per month on Face book.

I wonder where are we headed for. Is my life becoming so governed by the social identity I maintain for myself. If I do not post any news feed for 1 week, do I fear for being out of happening cool circles. We are in a world where everyday definitions are changing. We are changing our notions of privacy, revelation and self-display. In present times, we are in the process of evolution and beginning of a of a new social norm. Either we upgrade ourselves or die a natural social death.

Trip to Grand Canyon

As we sat round the fire
grilling chicken
gazing stars
talking about the moments
going into the past
Opening our
thoughts for inspection
of each other.

No pretense
nothing to hide
as naked
as a moonless night.

We hiked the Grand Canyon
gaining strength from each other.
No one was better
No one was weaker
We conquered
the hike
together.

As the trip
came to an end
we had moved ahead.
Walked a few miles
in our
bonds of togetherness
and
burgeoning
of a relationship.

Let me be home

I was scared

It was my fist day at play school
All I knew was
I am going to be away
from the warmth of home
and company of my toys
for eight hours
in a day.

No one had time
to play with me
Mommy had a day job
Daddy had a night job
Everyone seems
to be busy running
but no one runs
behind me
playing
catch me if you can.

When I complained
fought and cried
threw my legs in air
I heard them say
what a thankless child
cant see their hard life.

I didn't ask for toys
I didn't ask for candy
All I asked was
read me a story in the night
play ball with me
listen to my tales
cuddle me while I sleep.
Maybe I did ask for too much.
Maybe I should thank them
for running so much
all for me.

Twists & Turns

Was trying to remember
sex
in the way you liked
the best
my memories failed me
my dreams betrayed me
my thoughts killed me
I had no recollection left of you
in bed.

How did that happen
Did time erase the past?
I thought
I was married to those
memories
Did I get separated somewhere
in the journey
of whose done what.

I built my life
on those days
all that's left
is not even memories.
Should I be happy
Should I be exhilarated
I should be?
I did what was impossible.

I should raise
a toast to myself
yet somewhere
that little squeak
the little knot
yearns to open
the Pandora box.
How easy will that be?

Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Got this from the movie" Invictus" and found it really inspirational. This was written by the poet on hospital bed when his leg had to be amputated below the knee.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

I am my own host,and faithful witness
Or shall the shadows of hell learey me through the night,
So I will take this sword, and banish it in the afterlife

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

My new shoes

Gathering dust was
my new pair of shoes
still in the box
with the price tag.
I bought thinking
that I would run
change my life
feed my soul with
the breath of energy
flash of rush.
Those were just not a pair of shoes.

Lying in the box
for over six months
I look at them every
evening
those were a good buy
just $20 in clearance
What a steal!

Realizing
that I bought them
to change my life
change my looks
change my image
and here all am doing
still thinking
what a steal
it was.

Keepsakes

I held you in my hands
while you were sleeping
I looked at your face
and thought
how lucky I am.

I wish I could see
your dreams
and hoped
you were smiling in sleep
dreaming about me.

I removed the hair
falling on your face.
I moved
my hands on your body
engulfing it
as river embodies
into the sea.

I want
the time to stop.
Make the moment immortal
Let me absorb
the weight of your body
against mine.

Tomorrow will be another day
So sleep with me
My Love
Lay against my shoulders
Let's join the pieces
of our puzzle.
Let's make a postcard picture
A picture we both believe in!

The bittersweet symphony

I breathe
the air you breath
I share the dream
you dream.
I live the life
you want me to lead.

I walk the path
you carved for me.
I dance on music
you play for me.
I drink
the glass you poured for me.

I hear
the words you tell me.
I speak
the words you like to listen.
I sense
the words you are about to say.

Entwined in our lives
enveloped in the
sweet perfume of memories
The bittersweet symphony
of two people
living each others dreams.

Union Carbide Case Verdict : A Mockery!

25 years later when a verdict is passed and justice is denied, you are forced again to think about how corrupt and infested can Indian judiciary system be.

Union carbide case pending for last 25 years passed shameful verdict on 7th June 2010 for 2 years of imprisonment and fine of $2000 for all the accused. This has been  the justice given for the largest industrial catastrophe on the face of the earth. Whom are we trying to appease here? Why even bother for case verdict? Let the case remain a bouncing ball in the hollow walls of Indian courts. The judgment seems to have more aftermaths than the tragedy itself.

How disgraceful and appalling is this verdict? More than 25000 people dead within few days of tragedy and and more than 500,000 affected. You are even left speechless to think of the amount of injustice done. Is this a joke or mockery that the courts play on common people? I am completely failing to understand as to how can this happen. I cannot even phantom the outrage of the people who have been directly affected in this case. Not in my memory I can recall a single incidence when we think that Indian judiciary system has acted swift and done justice.

How can we continue living in this ailing society? What can we do as common man who is nothing but a puppet in the hands of Indian politicians, corruption and judiciary system? How can we talk big words about India Inc, progressive modern India society when we cannot sustain basic human rights in this country.

I am a very proud Indian and these are exactly the situations that make me re-think when human life has no value in this nation. I feel ashamed and disillusioned myself at the sorry state of affairs that this great nation is in wherein the country judiciary system is so corrupted and in the hands of few industrialists. 

What do you think now at the end : we will wait for justice to be done or nothing can happen and things will remain as they are in the modern India ! Again we begin the process for appeals to higher courts and spending another quarter of century waiting for justice to be rendered to the innocent victims! What a  mockery!

http://specials.rediff.com/news/2004/dec/01sld1.htm

Timeless shadows

I want to penetrate the shadows
lurking in the dark
merge with them
and make them vanish.

I see them everywhere
following my every footstep.
Waiting to pounce on me
and take me to the
lands of faraway.

I wait and watch
wanting to be overpowered
to be taken away
in sweet perfume of my
past
to the age of no regrets.

I dream
of alternative past
keep changing in my head
various permutations.
I open my eyes
and all I see
is shadows hanging
in front of me.

Take Me Home, Country Roads

Nothing original today except whenever its time to make an yearly trip to India, I remember the song and lyrics of this signature song of John Denver and realize how true are the words of the song. Here are the few lines of the song which are quite close to me.

Next post will be: "Delhi Diaries".

Enjoy the lovely song and the lyrics.

Almost heaven, West Virginia
Blue Ridge mountains, Shenandoah River.
Life is old there, older than the trees,
Younger than the mountains, growing like a breeze.

Country roads, take me home,
To the place where I belong,
West Virginia, mountain mama.
Take me home, country roads.

I hear her voice, in the mornin' hours she calls me
The radio reminds me of my home far away.
Driving down the road I get a feeling
That I should have been home yesterday,
Yesterday.

Country roads, take me home,
To the place, I belong
West Virginia mountain mama,
Take me home, country roads

Circle of Life

When I was young
my mother used to tell me
don't worry
everything will be all right.

I went for my job interview
and did not make through.
All they said was
don't worry
everything will be all right.

How I believed those words
till late in my life
thinking
that whenever they said
everything will be all right
It will be all right.

Today I walk back home
carrying my mother's report
I am thinking
how would I tell her
she has six more months.
And I reach home
All that I am able to say is
don't worry
everything will be all right.

How beautiful you are!

Did I ever tell you
how beautiful you are.
With your long curly hair
tied in a bun
and a simple red bindi
adorning your forehead
How beautiful you look
in that yellow saree.

I can imagine
how my father would
have fallen in love with you.
You are yet to tell
me how he proposed you.

As you look in the mirror
with wrinkled skin
and falling hair.
The head covered in
a scarf
to hide the bald scalp.
I wonder what you must be thinking.

I remember seeing you
the last time.
Looking just the same
with a simple red bindi
adorning your forehead.
And I thought
Why did I never tell you
how beautiful you are!

First Monsoon

I stood in the rain
enjoying the water
splashing on me
The first monsoon
of the season
drenching me.

The sweet smell
of the soil.
The dancing birds
in the sky.
The children
jumping in the puddles.
The grown-ups
under the shelter.

How can you miss
the first monsoon.
How can you
sit back and see the rain.
How can you not come out
and enjoy the rain.

The sight and splendor
as the rain quenches
the thirst of the dry earth.
The squeals and laughter
the wet clothes
the rainbow of umbrellas
adding to the splendor.

Come
Let's go
Hurry
to dance in the rain
and feast on the waters from heaven.
We cannot delay
to miss the first drop of
the falling rain.

One Night Stand

Lying back on the grass
under the dark sky
just you and me
counting the stars
on a moonlit night.

Endless seamless sky
expansive
no boundary
that's how I imagined
our love would be like.

The halo around the moon
The twinkling stars
The darkness
with streaks of light
enveloping us
like a blanket in the night.

"When we made love
you used to cry
I love you like the stars above,
I'll love you 'til I die."

The night it was.
Naked under the sky
With those memories
I said adieu to you
at the sunrise.

In Anticipation

My heart was fluttering
My beats were fast
My stomach was unable to eat
I was waiting for you call.
I looked at the watch
tried to kill three hours
knowing that you will call me
only after your work.

I was unable to read
I kept on running
in my head
what would I say.
I waited and waited
thought and thought
the decisions we need to make
the decisions I was scared to take.

Finally you made the call.
All that I had been thinking
miraculously vanished from my head.
All that I thought was
at least you made the call.
I didn't want to argue
to explain
to fight
to decide.
All I wanted was
for you to tell me
that you love me!

Nothing comes easy.
Was it something I said
or something I did.
The words I want to hear
are miles away.
Again as the night falls
I will start waiting for your call.

Distant Wavelengths

I wandered till I
reached a familiar sight
Saw your name engraved
on the stone.
Recalled the years of your life
not by memories but by
time line.

The soft breeze
blew my hair
covering my face
to hide the tears
slowly swelling
in my eyes.
I talked to you
making you updated
with the worldly news.

I had graduated
and mom was married.
The war had been called off
and your dearest friend
had recently joined you.
Maybe you already knew that.

I had no more to tell
I wish I could hear
your side of stories too.
I could laugh with you
and argue with you.
How dull was my life
without our little arguments.

It was time to leave
till I meet you again.
And do the same ritual
Still I thank God
That I am in same town
as you are
to come and talk to you again.

Unconditional Love

The deep hazel green eyes
dimple on the left side
cooing to make me feel your presence
a smile to welcome me home.

I can't recall what I felt
when I first held you in my hand.
The time flies
I already see you growing every day
recognizing me
and your little abode.

 The unprecedented joy
The overwhelming emotions
The feeling of being wanted
The new spring of love in my life!

Your little hands
fluttering in air.
Your little legs
trying to walk ahead.
Your eyes
searching for me
knowing this is where
I can demand anything.

As we both grow older
we will learn to love each other
Sometimes we will disagree
Sometimes we will fight
Sometimes you might feel
what did you ever do to get me
in your life.

But in the hearts of hearts
we know
we are tied by strings of feelings
which will keep coiling itself
making us closer
day by day.

Drop

A dew on a petal
Tear on your cheek
Ink drop on a blank page
Drop of honey in your everyday tea.
A drop of Napa in your glass.

A drop of water to thirsty throat
A drop of blood to a dying man.
A drop of medicine to a blind eye
A drop of hope to a falling heart. 
A drop of life to a tired mind.

A single drop
Varied forms
Mutiple significance
Myriad interpretations
A drop of!

The day the Music died

Walking along the corridors
absorbing the different music
being played in rooms
From rock and roll
to alternative rock
From reggae to rap
From pop to Hip hop.
Whatever you want
you have it all.

Music being shared
Music being ripped
Music being alive
Music being lived
Music being a force
making us come together.

Swooning on Kiss me
Grooving on Summer of '69
Singing along Who the fuck is Alice
Dancing on It's my life
Rocking on November Rain
Ecstasy on Comfortably Numb.

Those were the times
How young and restless were we
The nights were spent
with a drink in hand
analyzing The Wall
and interpreting American Pie.

I remember the day
the music died
was when I walked out of hostel life.
The times were changing.
jobs to do and money to earn.
All I hear now is radio in the car
with nothing new to blast my mind.

I miss those days
when a new song could
be the highlight of my day.
I guess nothing lasts forever
but I question
why not?

This poem has been an inspiration from Summer of '69 which has been a classical rock song of all times. It might be one of the most played number of dance parties and can imagine all of us at some time in our lives would have surely rocked on that song. It happens to be one of the nostalgic song for me to remind me of the dance parties attended and enjoyable carefree musical times. - Roohi

Night Drive

Cruising along
the wild
sitting in the car
listening to music that make me high.

Driving through the jungle
Through a mountainous stretch
with the ocean by your side
and hammock at the back.

Breaking of dawn
the birds flying from their nest
hearing
their morning call.

The cool ocean breeze
the first ray of sunlight
energizing
the tired nerves
driving through the night.

Thank You

Finally I have 10 followers!

This was the first milestone I had planned to reach. A stepping stone in my mind.
I thank you all for taking time and reading me for last 3 months and encouraging me to write more. This has truly been a very interesting and  therapeutic experience for me and I hope to continue with the same zest.

Keep reading Thoughts Unbound!

Roohi

Wanderer

I walked alone on a lonely road
trying to find a place to stay
looking for billboards and signboards
for a lodge to rest.

I remembered your cozy place
where I could always relax
take off all my burden
and refresh my soul.

The aroma of your clothes
and the smell of your hair
could wake me off my slumber.
Having you near by
could reinvigorate my hunger.

Why didn't I stay in that house
your heart where I could build a home.
Why am I wandering
on a lonely road
still looking for a place to stay!

Pensieve

Memories and thoughts
If wishes were horses
I wish had a Pensieve
to store it all!

Reduce the clutter
free my mind
to unleash it all
in a Pensieve!

Pluck the aging white hair
store it in a Pensieve
to review them after
twenty years!

The magic of Pensieve
will bring it alive
all my childhood and
dating life!

The wonderful and sad
The cherished and relinquished
Nothing will be forgotten
Nothing will be hazy
When will the Muggles
invent the Pensieve?

Requiem for a lover

She looks in your eyes
her world, her future, herself.

She holds you in her arms
the ocean enveloping her.

She sleeps next to you
sharing your warm breath.

She holds your hand and walk
supporting and strengthening her.

She laughs with you
her happiness quadrupled.

She cries with you
each teardrop becoming a pearl.

She makes love to you
shouting your name.

She waits for you to come
All is ready
The table is set
The candles are lit
And she awaits the arrival
of her lover.

Alas, she has no lover!

Seasonal and perennial

First mango of the summers
First rain of the monsoon
First strawberry of the garden
First sugarcane juice to satiate thirst
First vegetable of the season!

Remembering the time
when I used to wait
to get my first bite
before frozen and all year long
came into being.

Seasonal and perennial
were different words
both dominated there own space
without rousting the other.

Do you recall
the thrill of
your mother telling
today mango is as dessert
and okra is the dish.

The novelty got lost
when watermelon was made
all year long
when the longing and wait
for the first taste
got diminished
by savoring frozen
and preserved seasonals!

Serenade Evenings

A serenade evening
good old music
of your time
having a drink
enjoying the solitude
of you and yourself.

I close my eyes
shut my mind
people cease to exist
music encapsulates me
drink envelopes me
words sink in
savoring the taste it creates.

First Job frenzy

Day 0
Only handful got shortlisted
Rest all waiting to get the
good ones off the row
Wait and watch was the word
for the day to pass and
know the results.

Day 1
Few more with good GPA
good work experience
and good looks
walked the green mile.
I was still waiting by the side
to get my first look inside.

Day 2
Hopes were high
The mood was low
Handful of companies
and panic in store.
Got past group discussion
to face PI.
Nothing mattered more in life
than hearing my name being
announced as the "one".

Day 3
I am still walking
in formals.
Still waiting
The room is a funeral ground
with no one smiling
all in blacks waiting to hear
being called.

I heard the word
someone congratulating me
I was stunned to response
and people around me
were adjusting my tie
to walk inside and take the offer.

The day ended
with job in hand.
Tie was thrown and
bottle was opened.

Jubilation and celebrations
Hopes and aspirations
Dreams and fantasies
Sorrows and tears
Fear and apprehensions
Wonder what's that emotion
that you don't face
struggling for
first job on campus!

Hard day work!

Ready to launch
Ready to fly
Ready to flap my wings
and fly high

Ready to plan
Ready to fight
Ready to think ahead
and design my flight.

Ready to see
Ready to feel
Ready to act
to make me feel alive.

Ready to rest
Ready to sleep
Ready to relax
feel happy and satisfied.

Contentment and delight
at the end of hard day.
Nothing compares to the feeling of
joy and pride
when I lie on the bed
and think about the day!

Malgudi days: Childhood Reminiscence

Anytime that you wish to go back to childhood and revisit nostalgia, its time to read Malgudi days. Such are the stories of the fictitious city and characters that have been created by RK Narayan (RKN) . It does not seem plausible that there's no town by this name in real India. Malgudi was conceived more as a concept but has gone beyond it to be more concrete than that. In one of the narrations of RKN he said " If I explain that Malgudi is a small town in South India I shall only be expressing a half truth, for the characteristics of Malgudi seem to me universal."

For me the book proves to be full of limitless joy - Swami and his friends remind me of the Doordharshan serial and its characteristic music which no one in our generation can forget. The wonderful cartoons by RK Laxman to illustrate the characters added more to its glorious splendor. The stories carved out of the Malgudi are so simple, the characters are simpletons and have no complexities about them. What you read  about is routine day of anyone that you are following yet by the end of it, you fall in love with the characters.

Presently, I am reading short stories of RKN (Under the Banyan Tree) whose greatest  achievement is his ability to carve a wonderful short stories in couple of pages making a memorable read for you. These are ordinary stories of ordinary people- village postman, roadside astrologer, shopkeeper, watchman, grocery shop, village dog and beggar but they are so beautifully carved that the stories are refreshing and enjoyable. You can mentally visualize and capture any Indian village reading these stories. These stories not only appeal to a particular age group but can be immense joy for anyone to read it. The characters are such that you come across them everyday in your life. This is the real success of Malgudi days being the simplicity of stories and characters and yet they stir you and touch your heart. . In the current era of internet and fast stress paced life that we all lead, it feels good to read about  a time when life appears to be at a manageable pace and complexity of issues were so naive.

I recommend for anyone who has not read Malgudi days to be the very next very book that you read. Originality, simplicity and realism of place and characters are what you will totally relate to and enjoy.

Pay back Moments

I was eight
As my mom combed my hair
and dad tied my shoe
I used to eat my breakfast
and run to school.

I was sixteen
Used to get up just nick on time
late night movies
had caught my sleep
No time for breakfast and no time for clean shoes
Run to school was my morning schedule.

I was twenty
when I got my first car
Time became my ally then
Life had so much to offer
than to sit with parents
and hear their woes
All I knew was friends and
rock and roll.

I was twenty four
the Graduation day
only my father could make it
as my mother had passed away.
I had to run
friend were hovering and calling me
to have photos clicked and share drinks.

Strangely not a single
photo with my dad who stood by and
was proud and happy seeing me!

I am thirty
alone and orphan
I have all the time
now to sit and listen to them.
Except now I don't hear their voices
telling me
that one day I would remember
that this is what they used to say!

Good Times

Gathered around the table
trying to catch
the first hint
someone guess the right name
of the picture enacted.

Sitting around the round table
All in or double
more chips and more money
by the morning
only one man standing.

Passing the bowl
chips and salsa
beer and coke
pizza and laughs
a game night it was!

Went for an adventure
hitchhiked way back
with unknown people
in unknown lands
A story it was.

Two of us
A candle night dinner
good food and wine
Time for coffee
unforgettable night it was.

Recalling the moments
with different people
at different times
a collection of good times
in my story of life!

Biking on a summer day

On a summer day
biking along the dusty road
passing the green fields
looked for a spot to rest.

Racing with each other
on curves and bends
following the trail
with wind caressing our face.

Saw a bushy tree
in the middle of a field
Spreading our sheets
lied down in the shade.

Under the clear blue sky
with the gusty wind playing on our hot face
it felt like drinking an ice cooler
on a hot sunny day.

With no cell phone and computer
just you and me
lying spent under the sky
A refreshing day it was!

Longing

Across the time
I stood by and watched you
changing from someone I knew
to someone unknown.

Across the space
the distance took its toll
and made me a stranger
to internal you.

With every worthless words exchanged
I knew the time has come to let go
than keep our souls falling down
further and further.

The moments lived
The words exchanged
The warmth of the bed shared
feels like sand falling from my hand.

I hold on to you
I hold on to the few words
I still wait for you to come
And wake me up in my sleep
hold me tight and kiss my lips.

Happy Valentines day!

Having a blank page in my hand
wondering what to create with my pen
Nothing coming to my head
when an idea stuck inside.

Was reminded of the day when
someone played a prank on me
Gave me a Valentines day card
in high school as a joke on me.

Those were the young bright days
when you always wished
atleast one anonymous card or rose
will be waiting for you in your bus seat.

I made an effort to get dressed
I made an effort to look hot
I made an effort to catch attention
Those endless walks around the cafeteria
and all the different hair styles.

Fun times and crazy times
Exciting times and groovy times
Acceptance and rejections
Tears and sentimentality
All for a rose on the V-day!

Times have changed
now I get roses and wines and strawberries
But you still miss that
one anonymous rose waiting for you
in your bus seat!

Wishing everyone a very Happy Valentines day!

Carving a path

Why can't I cry
when I want to.
Why cant I let it all out
when I want to.

Why do I need to hide
my true emotions
Why can I let it fly
out of my system.

What do you need to do
to release all your emotions.
What do you need to do
to free yourself of all emotions.

I feel too entwined in my thoughts
to think of future ahead!
Why cant I let it all go
and dream of life ahead!

As I think this
the time seems to fly.
As I think this
the present keep knocking on the door.
As I think this
I do not foresee my loss.

All that's lost cannot be re-gained
All that's gone cannot be back
All that was meant to be cannot be changed.
All that I am today is because of my past
Again as before I move in circles!

Yes

My heart is lighter
My eyes are brighter
My walk has a sprint in it
I feel happier!

From the time I decided
what took me forever to decide
From the time I said Yes
I knew I was right!

"Sometimes, the only way to catch an uncatchable woman
is to offer her a wedding ring."
Sometimes only way to move ahead is to
decide to say yes!

All the days of
thinking and prodding
brooding and reflecting
fighting and agreeing
are days of past!

I have said Yes
and I eagerly await what it entails.
From the time I accepted
I could feel a burden off my head!
Happier and lighter
I move ahead!

Good Morning Coffee

Twilight peeping through the blinds
with the first ray of sun still not
dislodged the moon to sit on the throne.
I was feeling drowsy to get up
to begin my day.
The alarm snoozed again
making me leave my warm cozy bed to
the coffee smell filling the living room.

That's how each morning begins
with the first cup of coffee
to wake me off my slumber
and make my mind go alive.
With each sip of coffee
and stirring of spoon
warm thoughts crossing my mind
the day begins to take shape.

Like way the sun overcomes the darkness
to let the dawn set in.
It feels like the coffee
takes the dark hazy cloud
off my mind to let
the first light peep in
and begin each morning.
I say to myself have a great bright day ahead!

Loss of idleness!

I was wondering what to write when
I got the news today that
the poem I wrote got accepted
in the journal I like.

This made me ecstatic
It was the first baby step taken by me.
Made me think of
how excited must a baby get
when he takes his first step.
When he realizes that he has the power
to control his movements at his time.

I sat down to pen a poem
nothing came to my mind.
I suddenly realized
That my hobby was no longer idle time.
It had taken a form and a purpose!
How upset did that make me feel
felt that I lost my freedom
to fame and praise of worldly eyes!

A Night in a Bar

As I sipped on my Bacardi
I saw my friends
round the table
all laughing and listening to music.

As we passed on the cigarette
from one lip to another
softly kissing the smoke
scattered all around the table.

Slowly the words ceased to mean
Slowly the room began to spin
Slowly the music faded with laughter
Only thing audible was the
feeling of ecstasy in my mind.

Time for shots arrived
no one knew who bought the rounds
all I knew was that I was high
on tequilla, salt and lime.
My head was swaying to the music
and someone was holding my waist
to help me finish my drink.

What a lovely evening I had
with friends by my side
everyone laughing happy and gay
An evening to be remembered
and stories to be recalled
which in yonder years might
just seem to be fiction
and the seed of someone's imagination.

Day of my life!

Walking on the streets
checking on the tin cans
to find some meat
and to eat some thing.

Saw a restaurant
serving beef
thought what a treat
to get my teeth on it.

Wondered how to get close
to smell the feast
the guard outside
looked like a beast!

Saw a woman coming out
carrying the doggy bag
was happy to see
that maybe can get a snatch at.

Leaped with all my strength
only to be beaten by the guard
came limping back home
and empty stomach growling
back at me.

Remembered the good old young days
milk and bones
were easy to find
Had the strength of lion
and was ready to fight.

What a bad day today
sleep was nowhere in eyes
Snuggled in my corner
hungry and alone.
What a hard life
for poor dog on road.
Can you find me a home, please! 

Memoirs

I was just thinking of what to write today when I got some disturbing news from back home. And that's when I pen this poem, being the last entry of January.

As the darkness was growing outside
I was sitting inside my room
with shadows looming on the wall
of the past in front of my eyes.

I closed my eyes
to shut the images
Thought that it might just work
but reopened to drown myself in same fears.

How to erase your painful past
to emerge happy and gay?
How to make your mind free from images
that darken your each day?

I feel bound in a spider web
trying to find a way out
can you help me with this
to entangle myself?

To accept reality is the most painful part
to live through is easier than that.
They say that time is a healer
But does that not also open wounds
which you were never ever able to heal.

As the darkness keeps growing
I sit confronting these thoughts
not realizing that somehow deep inside
maybe I have already initiated the
process to accept and let out.
Still I keep walking  aimlessly
to seek few answers!

Entropy control

My thoughts are playing tricks on me
saying every moment catch me if you can
they keep running helter-skelter
laughing at my state of affairs.

What a beautiful mind they say
What a conscious state of mind they say
What an alive mind they say
I say what a screwed up mind it can be!

Interestingly do you control your thoughts
or thoughts control your actions.
Who came first chicken or the egg
is this not the same confusion?

I seem to be playing cat and mice
I got to think clear
I got to stop the amok behavior
Sit back and rationalize
be logical and clear.

Mind is like a cage
Thought is a bird flying to get out of cage
It depends on you
to design its maiden flight
for your actions to boast
of a beautiful, conscious, alive mind.

Sea of Emotions

Lying on the sand
staring at the dark sky
The moonlight starry night
with the man you love by your side.

Hands in hands you walk
along the sandy beach
with water splashing on your bare feet
leaving your footprints for sea to fill.

Sitting on the rocks
watching the high tide
thinking about all the endless waves
hitting against the same rocks every time.

What calmness and what energy
What anger and fury
What relaxation and loneliness
What silence and passion
What flood of emotions can the sea unfold in me!

These are few of my favourite things...

Few things I have experienced, few remain to be explored!

1. Sitting on huge French window in a high rise building seeing the city lights with a cup of coffee with light music in background.

2. Sitting next to the river stream in the silence of the night to be able to hear the sound of water hitting against the rocks. - Memories from Jim Corbett

3. Watching the sea and waves at dusk with the wind beating on your face - memories from Worli Sea face

4. Driving through a foggy day and trying to form shapes in the car's headlights- Delhi Winters

5. Watching the distant lights on a highway.

6. Listening to the thunderstorm sitting at home.

7. Repeatedly listening to the songs I love and each time that I listen I have something new to savor.

8. Lazing on weekend and reading a book I love with a cup of tea.

9. Drinking and getting high with friends I love - each time is a new experience and a new story - memories from college and work days!

10. Driving through city on a rainy day.

11. Romeo and Juliet - From the first time that I heard the song.

The list will continue to grow!

Disruption

I sat there on a speeding train
and watched the little villages go by
the children running with the train
and waving hands to say goodbye.

I sat behind the wheel in my car
watched the distant lights on a highway
Yellow light of a lantern in a hut
silos and granaries passing by.

I sat on a cruise ship
waiting to see the light from a lighthouse
wondering how does that feel
to see a light gleam in a the middle of dark ocean!

I sat at my home
opened the tele and saw the news
the earthquake shook the whole place
the tusnami washed the whole city
the bomb wiped the entire town!

What blazing lights and sounds
What hues of colors
What wrath of nature
What mystique of wilderness
And to destroy it all what imagination of mankind
always trying to master God's creativity!

Conceive the future!

After watching an energetic and high paced movie " Run Lola Run" it confirms my belief to live life in "if's and but's". However idiotic and unproductive the exercise is, it does give you at times the only ray of hope that you need to keep moving forward in your life. Though am sure that lot many would disagree with me and the idealistic and yeah maybe the right way to lead life is to keep you eyes and ears open to reality and lead life as practical as you can. But who is ideal today and do you always want to live life in code of conduct policy?

In our everyday life, we follow all the rules of the game whether it is at work place, in all 50 odd relationships we are into, career and any other facet of our lives. So when you are alone with yourself and maybe have time to think, which in  any case you are always running against time, it can result into a productive and happy hobby to have and why not?

It's said that unless you dream big you cannot achieve heights. I have extrapolated that to say that unless you think of alternative way your life could be , you would not know how can you change it. Though it's a dangerous game to play at times as well, yet it's interesting and I agree that you should always be in realm of reality. You should have the sanity to know what can be changed and what cannot be changed and at what juncture in life. Here, I will quote few lines which have always helped me to move forward in my life and overcome crisis:

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

So go on and take the chance, think of alternatives and don't just make it an unproductive exercise. It should be something to make you move forward rather then lament about the past. No one can change things retrospectively but we all have abilities to mold the future. The core idea being that you need to take time out to think what you can do , what you are capable of doing and how can you go about getting what you want.  And at time that will require to break few traditional old rules!

Emoticon

Love
Yearn
Loathe
Whats the extent of obsession?

Intense
Depth
Hunger
Whats the extent of passion?

Craving
Sex
Lust
Whats the extent of making love?

Excitement
Fervor
Drive
Whats the extent to achieve happiness?

Magnificence
Outstanding
Majestic
Whats the extent to find beauty?

Greed
Gluttony
Indulgence
Whats the extent to say enough?

Do we ever stop
Do we ever give in to say
this should be it
Always its the race
to run and reach it's end.

At the end of the race
We sit too tired too old to even remember
all the emotions we felt
all the sacrifices we made.
What should have been precious was
the journey in itself than the end!

Dreamy Dreams

Dreams Dreams Dreams
What a beauty is in these words
Makes you smile to think
of all the things you have in your dreams.

You dream about all that you desire
All the joys you crave for
All the success you want
All the love you can have.

Success is at your doorstep
Girlfriend is knocking on your door
Wealth is your Welcome doormat
and health is your keyhole.

What a beautiful world
is the world of dreams.
All gay and gaiety
with only colors and everything at arm's reach.

Come the reality, come the dawn
Come the labor to achieve it all
Come the hope to make it to the top
Again to enter into the wonderful
World of Dreams!

Who are you without dreams
just like a dead man walking
Who are you without hopes to do something
Hopes and Dreams come together
each giving you a reason to laugh and live a dream!

Fulfillment

Sit back and relax
to see the beauty of sun and stars
to look at the green fields
and taste the red strawberries!

Come and play
Go for a walk at dawn
share a glass of wine at dusk
with friends who stood by you all your life.

Make time from work
to be on date with whom you love.
Enjoy the togetherness and special bond
that you have with this someone.

Dance like you have never danced before
Make love as you have never made love before
Laugh like you have never laughed before
Do all that your heart tells you
Do all that makes you smile
and love yourself more!

Paa - A Review

It's been almost a week since I wrote anything. The week has been hectic with trip to Chicago, ankle sprain and work. There goes my resolution of writing everyday!

Finally I watched "Paa" this week. After strong recommendations, reviews and mass approvals for this movie, I was slightly disappointed after watching it. No doubt Amitabh Bachhan's (AB) performance was brilliant - largely attributed to his make up and the lisp to talk like a 12 year old. It sure takes creativity and imagination to make a 67 year old talk like and behave like 12 year old.

What was disappointing was that the movie lacked emotion. The movie was staged around a 12 year old boy suffering from this rare disease - Progeria, but it failed to give it's central theme more depth and understanding of the character. The boy's life is shown to be perfectly normal, school life is superb with a lot of friends and no social stigma whatsoever. Traditionally you will see this flaw in some other Balki directed movies as well - "Cheeni Kum" wherein you have this extremely happy cancer suffering girl "Sexy". The whole personification of some of his characters lack reality and seem to be overtly precocious. By the end it seemed just like any other Bollywood flick with the only difference being a child born with Progeria.

Maybe I was benchmarking the movie to "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and in comparison the movie definitely failed. Also, in comparison to the movie  "Taare Zameen Pe" which was staged around the central theme of Dyslexia where the character was an 8 year old boy, Paa was not a comparison. While it was a novel idea and a great performance by AB, I felt the movie could have been so much better for the 2.5 hours time that it ran for. Poor dialogues and average music did not make things any better. The great thing was the movie did not waste its time on showing the early romance between Vidya Balan and Abhishek Bachaan, which ideally should have given more time to focus on the central character- 12 year old boy. It should have focused more on challenges faced by the boy, his emotions, his understanding of the disease and the world as seen from his vision.

In all, the movie lacks to integrate and have a unified central theme. The only take away from the movie is the brilliant make up done for AB and his performance which truly has no parallel. For only that, I recommend you make time for it and watch.

Dreary winters!

Couple of lines I remember from long time back!

Winters are back again and God! Do I hate the cold
Now hear the teeth chatter and watch the woolens unfold
a hot cup of coffee, a dash of whiskey and a warm fire at our feet
Lets get the show rolling, and yes you can take your seat
the birds aren't gonna sing, they're so frozen that their voices have gone on hold
Winters are back again and boy! Do I hate the cold.

Broken Wings

Can you ever mend a broken heart
can you ever mend a broken frame
Can you ever smile at the love you lost
Can you ever forget the love you had!

Things come and things go
but remnants of past remain forever
Can you forget the past
and learn to live in present!

You remember what you have been told
Time and tide waits for none
And you try to move ahead to catch time
and all you think is how to kill time.

But you learn to smile
you learn to love the pain
you learn to gain out of sufferings
and you learn to have in faith in God above!

What's there to fight the fate for?
What's there to accept the fate for?
You eventually understand
that it was meant to be as it is!
For a good greater than
what you understand now.

Faded Memories!

Moving across the streets
on cobbled pathways
reminds me of days
spent in aimless wanderings.

I think about the blue skies and green fields
simple joys of life
which had lot more meaning
that what it is today.

All the good things of past
fade away in memory
in trying to start
new possessions of glory.

When do we stop
and take a breath
Rest and enjoy
all the pleasures we have had.

Time does not stop
but we got to stop somewhere.
Wherein lies the love and peace
and all the joys of distant past.

Waiting for weekend to start!

After writing such a dull poem, I thought I just have to write something happier. Finally the weekend arrives after 5 days of work which was after a great holiday season. So you desperately need another weekend to get you back in work routine. I have completed reading 100 odd pages of fountainhead and loving it and understanding it until now.
Feel like playing in snow and doing aimless wanderings!
Time to open a drink, sit by fire and watch a movie.

Reckless thoughts

I sit next to the fire thinking about
What we had
What we lost
And what went wrong.

The snow keeps falling
And logs keep burning
My thoughts keep stirring
Making my head go heavy.

My heart burns in pain
To dream about the life we had.
And in the heart of heart I know
Nothing last forever.

So here I am again
On the crossroads of life
Thinking about what we had and what we lost
And all I can think is what a beautiful journey it was!

Revisiting Fountainhead!

I think everyone reaches a stage in life when they pick up Ayn Rand - Fountainhead again and try to rationalize the book in their heads. I remember reading the book when I was 18 and frankly at that point of time in my life, it just did not make any sence to me at all. I was totally unable to fathom the practical aspect of the book and was not ready to accept the book as mere philosophy with no real bearing in the world we live in.

Yesterday night, now again on the crossroads of life, I pick the book and start reading. After 12 years since the time I read the book, a lot has changed and I have personally grown up to form my own ideas and thoughts and philosophies. Working now in real job environment, making compromises on job ethics, going through a lot in life in terms of professional and personal life, I wonder will that book have a different meaning to me now. I wonder will I finally be able to understand the central theme of the book. Somehow it appears to me that the book shares a similar personality as Howard Roark, you can hate it or love it, swear by it...but you definitely cannot ignore it.

It will surely be an interesting read for me this time and am totally looking forward to it!

Gurucharan Das - thinker of Modern India

Since my new year kinda resolution was to attempt writing each day..wondering now what to write on? Nothing motivated me today..nothing stirred my grey cell..nothing excited me about the day except for a small discussion I had with one of the cousins...the continuous debate on staying in India V/s USA.

Oh how much we have thrashed this debate in our head..how much have we deliberated on the issue..how much have we thought that on finishing higher education we should be back where we belong! Indians by nature are emotional people, family oriented and gregarious people liking the presence of social gathering and family support. Whenever i think about this debate in my head, I am always reminded of Gurucharan Das - Harvard graduate and former CEO of Procter & Gamble India. I remember reading his interview that on three junctures in life he had a choice to make whether to stay back in US or go back to India. And in all three times he decided that it was to go back.

Personally I feel a lot motivated by Gurucharan Das and his famous quote “ You need two things: you must have the hunger for success and the desperation to achieve it. It's as if your life won't be complete until you succeed. That fundamental discontent has to be there. Got it?" I think it's all excuses of lame and lazy mind to say that nothing can happen in India and have much better life, money and growth staying abroad. You yourself should be responsible for what you make of your life or else be a blind follower of destiny!

Time for me to read his recent book " Difficulty of Being Good-On the Subtle Art of Dharma"

Masterpiece - LOTR

2010 arrives! First entry of the year! I am wondering what to write?

Well after having spend an extremely lazy weekend, mainly spending time watching movies..guess have nothing better to write than writing about my extreme fondness and appreciation for Lord of the Ring.
I think I might have seen the trilogy atleast 15 times and each time that I see, I can find something new to appreciate about the character, cinematography, music of the dialogues. It's so amazing to see the book been captured into the movie not escaping any emotion that was expressed in the book. The parallel that I can draw to LOTR is the Indian mythology epic " Mahabharata" . These are splendid work of arts written expressing each and every emotion a man can ever go through in his lifetime whether they are the 7 deadly sins or the 7 holy virtues! They got it all for us to see, experience, feel and analyze.

Other than great performances, few quotable quotes of the movie (taken from the JRR Tolkien) are unforgettable-“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back. There are some things that time can not mend. Some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold.”
"You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years".

Whatever aspect of the movie it is - story, direction, photography, art works, music, it's absolutely flawless and any accolades for the movie will be less.
If JRR Tolkien created a masterpiece, so did Peter Jackson in giving it life and form!